Unfortunately for pretty much every human being, carnal desires are uncontrollable. Freud claimed that every little thing we did, every single action is driven towards sex. What is highly controversial nowadays is the fact that Freud at no point instigated that it was for reproduction purposes...Love itself is not a prerequisite of passion and as such sex itself is nowadays more of an act of recreation, you have to truly believe that the "love" you feel is in fact love rather than some sudden insecurity of him having severed the emotional attachment...Were you truly in love?
You are absolutely not a fool to still love this person who lied to you, the fact you were in love with him presupposes that you knew him incredibly well and with this knowledge perhaps his actions were perhaps not a total surprise. You tend to love everything about someone. That is a condition of love. The small things, the petty things, even certain repulsive traits others run away from, you embrace. By being in love you are so wrapped up in the other person that in certain aspects you live their life. His actions are a part of who you are...you love him because of these actions therefore you yourself are inclined to believe they are right. You are not a fool for loving him, you are perhaps a fool for not seeing the extent to which love clings to every part of you and manipulates positively every action.
What makes this entire situation quite unbelievably cruel is that you automatically dislike yourself because you are trying to hate yourself for feeling the way you do...which is horrendously ironic. It's a vice of human nature as it is so bizarrely in our nature to love yet a complete contradiction to hate the one you love. What puts the icing on the cake is that because you love him...every single little thought you have of him is completely intensified so you feel so much worse. His lack of faith, lies and usage of you have simply objectified you and you feel like you need this to live happily. Everyone loves the idea of having to be needed, it's NATURAL. Because you now know he doesn't need you is less of a repercussion of distancing, but more of a change of scenario...
Perhaps the best advice I can give to you and anyone in this particular situation, is to not fight it. It's natural to feel torn apart in this case. Don't blog, don't phone, text, BBM, Ping or page him. It feeds his knowledge that you need him and your lack of dependence is unattractive (not that that is a bad thing, if anything you want him to distance himself from you)
Don't feed his ego by parading your love. It sucks, love is the best feeling in the world until someone abuses it. NPC. Neutrality, Passivity and Climax.
Neutralise your feelings by not shouting them around. Love turns to hate quickly but both are incredibly similar.
Passivity shows lack of interest and although self harming slightly, news will reach him of your apathy.
Climax. Your feelings will bring themselves to a close eventually.
Love's oxygen is reciprocation, without it it will fade i promise.
All the best.
Mr Lear
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