I have this opinion that when someone has a grudge against someone, the only way to sort it out is either to accept the fact that he or she is disliked by this person and avoid them or talk to them and come to some sort of mutual understanding or in the case of it being someone of the same sex, resort it physically.
The horrible thing is that if the person who is the "Grudger" can't let go of it and really has a problem with the "Grudgee," then the Grudger will always see it as their duty to try and make as many people as possible share their dislike for the Grudgee.
In this situation, the first option is completely useless because the Grudgee will inevitably keep running into things being said about him through the notorious grapevine, confrontation will be utterly unavoidable.
The confrontation doesn't necessarily have to climax with the old squaring up and fisty cuffs, it can be in a controlled climate where quiet words can be exchanged hospitably.
Here's the thing, unfortunately because the Grudger is usually a bit of an insecure moron, he has by this time (if it has gone on long enough) become accustomed to disliking the person and has gained some attention for it. Woop Woop doesn't our society rock...
In which case our poor Grudgee has not got the ability to draw his arch enemy Grudger into the open for a chat.
The ideal situation to end this dispute would be to completely catch the Grudger off guard, by this i mean attending a bar or a mutual friend's party where you know he will be. If he sees you there he will most likely not separate himself from the crowd because he will want to avoid the possible confrontation, of any kind.
At some point though, he will inevitably be separated so be patient. Wait until he is a good few metres away from his cronies and that you are completely on your own. Say very loudly..."What problem do you have with me?"
Saying it loudly will draw attention to the conversation, people thrive off seeing a confrontation that they are not a part of.
Make sure you are right in his face, the chances are this person will not be bigger than you because he would have said the horrible things to your face, unafraid.
His response will most likely be "huh?" You have to make sure that you are a hundred percent certain this person is the chief Grudger, if he isn't then other Grudglings will all quickly step in to help him. The masses want to see if their Grudger can stick up for his own words.
The next couple of moments decide everything. If he simply walks away, pull his arm back and get in his face again. Without promoting violence, you must show that you are completely unafraid of it's possibility. If he says his exact feelings back to you, then you're onto a winner, if he claims that he's said nothing, his grudglings will not follow him and his attack will fail because no one will care if he can't enforce words with actions. If you are sure the result of the oncoming discourse will end physically, make sure you are never less than a yard away from him and make sure you strike first and hard, if you hit and miss then he will have the advantage of having a real excuse to hit you and an angry assailant poses more of a threat.
Mr Lear.
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